1 Cor 7:5 “Do not deprive~| each other, except by mutual agreement for a specified time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then resume your relationship , so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
Some believed sexual abstinence in marriage was more spiritual, but “marriage must be honored among all and the marriage bed kept undefiled, for God will judge sexually immoral people and adulterers” (Heb 13:4).
The “marriage bed”—-a reference to sexual relations—-must be “undefiled,” or kept “pure from any defilement, thus holy.”
Within marriage, sexual relations are as pure as prayer. However, outside of or before marriage, those practicing sexual relations are considered “fornicators and adulterers” (Heb 13:4), and they can expect God’s judgment.
Within marriage, normal sexual relations are to be practiced regularly. It is a biblical duty to provide mutual sexual satisfaction to one another. God expects the pleasure of marital sexual relations to fully meet the normal needs of both husband and wife, thus eliminating the need for any extramarital relations in fantasy, thoughts, or actions.
Furthermore, women have a very different sexual drive than their husbands. Men tend to be easily stimulated in a sexual relationship, but most women are slow to be stimulated, requiring a quality relationship, intimate conversations, a deep sense of security.
The real lovers are not the one–night–stand people but the couples who can maintain a romantic relationship over a forty–year period or more. This is what is beautiful to the Lord.
Each partner must learn the needs of his or her spouse and commit himself or herself to meeting those needs regardless of personal feelings. On the other hand, the driven partner can learn patience and self–control, waiting for the right moment with the spouse.
Anticipating the wonder of romance is an exciting part of the give–and–take of a relationship. Only selfish attitudes can ruin God’s plan for mutual satisfaction.
“Dear loving Lord, only You understand the full extent of true love, so I ask You to guide me in giving all the love that a human can possibly give to my spouse, so that You might be glorified in all we are able to accomplish together.”