Adam and Eve chose to follow the deceit of immediate gratification, which Satan promised would fulfill their deepest cravings, only to find it brought only bitterness, disillusionment, isolation, and the loss of God’s partnership.
Eve was seduced by Satan to believe that God was not interested in her needs. Satan said Adam and Eve would not die if they disobeyed, because God would not keep His word. Finally, Eve thought their happiness was only possible if they ignored God’s way and followed Satan’s false promises of happiness.
When God confronted the Eve, He said, “I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; In pain you shall bring forth children” (Gen 3:16); thus God permanently changed her physically, making childbirth a painful experience.
God added, “Your desire shall be for your husband, And he shall rule over you” (Gen 3:16). This sounds romantic, but it is part of the curse, the consequence, of sin. It is a prediction of how sinners will react to each other, especially in marriage. Only the New Living Translation has the right translation: “You will desire to control your husband” (3:16NLT).
Just as Eve manipulated Adam to partake of the forbidden fruit, so her nature (and the nature of every woman from then on) was changed so that she would seek to control and manipulate others. The Hebrew is repeated almost verbatim in Genesis 4:7 where sin “desired” Cain to kill Abel.
Unconsciously, every women attempts to control and manipulate her husband, while he attempts to dominate his wife by intimidation and threats, both of which are prohibited (Mark 10:42–-45). Our sin nature ruins our relationships, and must be overcome.
The only hope is for a couple is to recognize these damaging natural responses and resist them. The wife must learn submission and a trusting respect for her husband (Eph 5:24), while he must learn to mutually submit (“submit to one another out of reverence for Christ”; Eph 5:21) and to care for his wife “as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her” (Eph 5:25). Both are the opposite of their fallen natures.
The husband’s focus in marriage is to commit unconditionally to meeting his wife’s needs. Just as Christ poured Himself out to others, winning their hearts and commitment to Him till death, so the husband is to learn from this model to give himself in personal sacrifice for his wife. This is the only way to love!
“Lord Jesus, it is hard to imagine what it cost You to give Yourself for her. Teach me to lose my self–interests and my demands for my needs to be met first. Make sacrificing for my spouse a reflection of Your love for the church.”